I'm There Too
by JIBBSFOREVER in Paris
Summary: VERY GRAPHIC. RATED M for a REASON! Lorelai finds horror has not just seeped into her perfect life, but has pervaded everything she's held dear. When her world falls apart - what could possibly fix it?
1. Chapter 1

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION - SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS PRESENT IN HERE - WARNING BEFORE READING!

She took a deep breath.

Was she really going to do this?

A tunnel appeared before her – as she stared at the bathroom door.

What would happen when she walked out of this room?

Everything would go back to normal. How it had been.

Her heart thudded in her chest.

And in her wrists… at least she knew this would work.

Life couldn't go on. She just couldn't.

She shifted her body up against the wall – hearing the paper rustling under her sneaker.

The paper.

The letter she wrote.

A note.

She imagined her mom reading it.

Finally knowing her hell.

Or seeing it writing.

She clenched the metal in her right hand, anger rippling throughout her body.

Her mother should have seen.

Must've known.

Must've seen it.

And didn't care.

It hadn't always been that way. She liked her stepfather. She had been ten when her mother married him. He was a fun guy, especially to a little girl. Always taking her out to the park, or the arcade, or the movies – a father she'd never had.

And her mother had been so happy. So excited to finally have someone to share her life with.

So happy she didn't notice.

When he would pick her up and set her on his lap – she was ten. She didn't like sitting on people's laps. But he would smile – and tell her she was such a great girl when she did. And she loved making him happy. He was her daddy – something he loved her to call him.

Her mother didn't notice.

When he would get her ready for school in the morning, tenderly brushing her hair back into little pigtails. He loved holding her hand.

She wiped the tears off her face, inhaling quietly as she cried. She couldn't let her mother hear her.

And then it escalated. A snowstorm. Her mother was stuck at work.

She could see it – like it was happening right there again.

She said it made her feel uncomfortable – the way he was touching her.

He told her to be quiet. That she needed to be a good girl.

She asked for her mom.

He told her the words that would forever haunt her. "No one's here to save you. Now lay down."

No one was there to save her.

And there was no one to save her as she sat there in the bathroom.

She was saving herself.

From the endlessly sleepless nights. It seemed like hours that he would spend in her room. The fondling. The groping. The horrific way he would use her.

All while her mother slept upstairs.

Unaware.

No one would save her.

But as she put the blade to her wrist, as she dug it as far into her arm as she could. As she bit into her shoulder to keep from screaming out.

As the tears and blood ran – if no one would save her – she would save herself.


	2. Chapter 2

"Thanks so much for coming." Lorelai said as she opened the door to find Luke standing there. "And you brought Bert!"

She watched her friend roll his eyes, as he looked at her and said, "What happened?"

Then she looked at her hands, covered in red paint and said, "Oh, I'm just working on Rory's birthday present." She stepped to the side, wiping her stained hands on the painting rag she had been using to keep her workspace somewhat clean. "I've been working on painting some new bookshelves I found for her."

He walked in, and chuckled, "Just wanted to make sure you weren't bleeding from the head or anything." Then he gestured to her forehead, and then laughed as Lorelai wiped frantically at her face. "You just smeared it all over."

She slapped his work clothes with the towel, and pretended to be offended, "Hey, that's your response if you found out I was bleeding from the head?"

He shrugged, "What would you like me to do? Call 911?"

"So glad the red didn't fool you." She rolled her eyes as a smile found her face. Then she pointed to the bathroom door. "Thanks for coming."

"Thought maybe that husband of yours would be able to fix a leaking sink."

She ignored the jab at Max and tried to turn the handle to the bathroom, "He's just been so busy that I decided if I hired it out to someone, it might get done faster."

His tone was flat. "You're going to pay me?"

She laughed. "Oh, no. But telling him that I am will probably make him think twice about putting things off so long."

She tried the handle again, finding it locked. Who was home? She heard the door open earlier, but thought it was just Rory coming home from school. She knocked on the door and said, "Rory? Are you in there?"

"I should've known you wouldn't pay me."

When no sound came from the door, she grunted, "Addie must've accidentally locked the door again." Then she knocked on the door, louder this time, "Is anyone in there?" And she addressed Luke, "I think money would taint our friendship." Her hand searched along the top of the bathroom door ledge, and she muttered, "I want you to know that whenever you have children, don't get locks on the bathroom door." She found the spare key and she fumbled with it in her hand.

"How else do you keep the kids out of there while you're using it?"

She laughed as she turned the key. "They find ways. I swear kids should rob banks because they can get into anything anywhere."

"Yeah. But where would we be without those filthy, screaming, dirty kids everyone seems to love?" He said sarcastically.

She just slapped him again as she opened the door.

And everything.

Absolutely everything. Came crashing down on her.

She had listened for Rory coming home. She had been painting her birthday present.

The room – that Lorelai now looked into - was so full.

And so empty.

She heard the words. Whether she said them or Luke said them, she would never know.

"Oh. My. God."

She couldn't breathe as she looked into the room.


	3. Chapter 3

READ WITH CAUTION!

"Ow…." Luke pretended to be hurt from the light, friendly slap Lorelai landed on his shoulder. And he waited to hear her "Oh, stop. You're such a big baby."

But instead, he watched as Lorelai's face lost all semblance of color. Her eyes widened, as if she was staring at something that absolutely terrified her. And her pale lips moved with a breathy, "Oh my god" as her hand went to her mouth. Then another, "Oh my god. God."

"Wha…" Luke started to ask her what was wrong.

Then he saw.

He saw the lines of blood rushing through the grooved tiles, a maze through the tiny little mosaic. The smell of metal filled the small room.

That seemed so desperately full.

A sound of choking came from the woman standing beside him.

And his eyes reached the place she must now be looking.

And he heard Lorelai's whispered, "Rory."

Was that who it was? He couldn't tell. Not through the clothes, steeped in blood, that clung to a thin body laying there against the wall of the bathrrom. Right between the toilet and the tub. Such a weird place… small. Perfect for a skinny teenager to…

Then he realized who it was. The stringy dark hair clumped around her wet face. A sweater – white around the neckline – red around the…

Now the whispers became screaming next to him. "Rory! Rory! Listen to me!"

And Luke's eyes reached the arms. Right where the clumped body lay, flesh strung open. And blood pumping out of gashes on both of her arms. One hand hung limp. The other – grasped a thin, metal razor.

And that moment, Luke dropped his toolbox.

He had to get Lorelai out of here.

Because this looked like hell had broken through the earth.

And he watched as Lorelai lunged and tried to fall to her knees and crawl through the river of blood to the body.

She couldn't do that. This much blood. There was so much.

And Luke grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to her feet. "Lorelai."

She twisted away from him, her eyes wide as she screamed, "Rory! Rory!" Luke's hands held her tight, and he could barely contain her until he pulled her around so she was facing him.

And he shook her and said, "Lorelai!" Still she screamed her daughter's name. He shook her again and said louder. "Go call 911!"

Tears streamed down her stained face as she shook her head, "She needs…"

Luke looked straight into her terror-filled eyes and said, as calmly as he could possibly bear, "She needs to get to the hospital." That was obvious. He had to get Lorelai out of this room before he went and found what he knew would be horrendous carnage. "She needs you."

"Rory…" Lorelai's voice broke, almost breaking Luke's heart.

But he was firm. "Go call 911. And then…" He had to keep her busy – and fast. "Go call 911 and then call Max." She needed her husband. "And then…" one more person. One more before he knew he could make the decision. "Go call Sookie."

Lorelai's entire body shook as she nodded. And he asked, "What are you going to do?"

And she whispered, "Call an ambulance and then Max and then…"

Now he pushed her out of the bathroom, making sure she was on her way to the phone before he turned back, while yelling, "Call 911. Now!"

And now he ran the few steps to the girl.

And his mind began to be his worst enemy.

Rory. It was Rory.

He couldn't move for a second. So much blood. So much… everywhere. All over her body.

He reached her – his hands shaking as he shook his head and whispered, "Oh, Rory… what have you…"

He didn't know where to start. He couldn't feel her pulse. Not on her arms… the gashes – so wide… but blood… still pumped out.

And something rang in his head. Blood pumping.

Meant her heart was still pumping.

And he brushed her hair back – her head was slumped down on her chest. her little head.

He lifted her head back, and reached his hand to her neck.

Her face – pale. Her lips. Blue. Like the color of her tongue when he gave her a special lollypop for her tenth birthday.

Not htat he'd ever been a praying kind of man. But now. He might have called it prayer. Might have just called it needing to please ask someone to help. "Please let there be a pulse. Please…"

Something.

He waited.

All the while he heard Lorelai in the other room.

"I need an ambulance… my house… um… the address is… what's the address? I just… I mean I live here… it's me, Lorelai Medina? Please, it's my daughter…"

Lorelai's voice grew with intensity and frustration at not being able to remember.

He felt something soaking up into the knees of his jeans. He tried to ignore it.

Thump.

He almost jumped back.

Thump. The feeling against his thumb.

There was something.

And he went into action.

He ripped off his shirt – buttoms flying everywhere as he yelled out, "Tell them to hurry, Lorelai! She's still alive!"

Was there room? Room for hope?

He didn't have time to think. He ripped his shirt down the middle, using the sleeves and pulling her arms, one at a time, and pressed the sliced skin together and then bound it together with the sleeve of his shirt.

Lorelai's words grew frantic. And loud. "NOW!" She screamed. "My daughter needs help. Please! There's so much blood! So much! Everywhere."

There was.

He finished binding her arms, hating that he could see blood seeping through his makeshift bandages. And he knew there wasn't time to wait.

And he scooped Rory up in his arms, her tiny body feeling so much lighter. And he yelled, "Tell them to meet us at the hospital."

Standing to his feet, he tried not to slip on the blood – lifting Rory in his arms as her head hung back – her eyes still closed – but he could hear a small breath exhale out of her blue lips.

The words came colliding through his mind.

She's alive. She's breathing.

Was there really a chance?

As he stepped out of the bathroom, a small clang echoed through his ears.

The razor. Falling from Rory's hand to the ground.

Dear God, what had happened?

But now he was confronted with Lorelai again.

And the horror on her face.

"Oh. Rory."

He didn't have time for this. They had to get to the hospital. They probably had about two minutes or so before it was too late. His chest was wet with blood that began to soak through the bandages. And he said, "Grab your keys. I have to take your car." He left his truck at home. Walked here.

"My keys?" Lorelai ran around, looking for them, frantically searching through her purse, then on the talbe, and then the couch.

All the while Luke saw them on the hook as he walked past them to the door, and he said, "On the hook." He needed to keep her occupied with something to do. Couldn't let Lorelai think about the horror that was happening.

Lorelai ran behind him, and grabbed the keys.

Before he knew it he was out to the car, and she rushed ahead to open the door to the backseat of the car. And she started to open the driver's door until luke said, "Get in the backseat."

"I need to drive to…"

He shook his head as he laid Rory's lifeless body in the backseat. "She needs you with her."

Then he helped Lorelai's shaking body up into the car, where Lorelai pulled Rory's head into her lap and brushed away her blood-soaked hair and whispered, "Oh, Rory… Rory…"

And the whole way to the hospital, he heard, "Rory… Oh please… Rory… what…"

Drove so fast he was sure they all should have died, he threw the car into park and screamed, "Get me a stretcher! A doctor!" Carrying the teenager in, he watched as nurses and doctors streamed around them – all the while he not only felt Rory in his arms – but a woman attached right to his other arm. Lorelai.

Before he knew it – they were standing there. Alone.

The doors swinging shut and a nurse explaining, "I'm sorry. They're going to rush her back to triage. You'll have to stay here."

And then.

She broke.

He felt Lorelai's body go limp beside him.

And before he could reach out to catch her, she was on the ground. On her knees.

And the sound of sobs choking her echoed throughout the room. Off the walls – down to the puddle of blood at both of their feet.

Lorelai's body began to shake as the sobbing grew louder – along with the wails Luke knew came from the pit of her soul. "Oh, Rory… my baby…"

He knelt down by her – and she began to pound her fists on the hard floor of the hospital. Each fist coming down harder and harder as she wailed, "My baby… my Rory… "

He put his arm around her – bare from the loss of his shirt – and he pulled her close. And she melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she held on for dear life. And she cried, "Luke, what happened? She's… she's supposed to be… and all the… and…"

His hands pulled her closer to him, and he just whispered, "Shhhhh…"

But no words could comfort either of them after that. Because it wouldn't get better. He didn't think there was much chance they could save her.

And even if they could – would it get better? Tears streamed down his face. Would this…?

And instead – they just comforted each other with their grief. Clinging to the other for dear life.


	4. Chapter 4

Was this what death felt like?

She waited for that calming feeling to come over her – there was darkness – all she wanted was for it to begin to settle the fluttering she felt in her chest.

But she could hear things.

Bits and pieces.

Screaming. So much screaming.

And the rushing sound. Like water. But thicker.

She just wanted to die in peace.

Then she felt something.

Being lifted up.

She was sure she would go down.

After everything. She just wanted her body to be done. Left. Forgotten.

Again. The screaming. And crying.

Wailing. Rory just wanted it to be done.

To tell death to hurry up. So she could just stop hearing the screaming.

Or was the screaming part of the dying part?

She'd never done this before.

Then she felt it.

Pain.

Throughout her whole body.

Wasn't the worst pain supposed to be done? Digging that sharp razor deep into her arm… that was the worst part.

But it wasn't.

Something strangled her chest – as if she couldn't just fade off – but had to be tied and strangled and mangled again.

More yelling.

The noises around her began to come into focus more and more.

Beeping.

Someone yelling.

Then more strangling along her chest. All she wanted was for this to be over. Let her die.

Burning. Rang throughout her body for a split second.

Then more beeping.

Over and over.

Then voices.

And voices. She couldn't hear voices – not now. She did it to escape them.

But she couldn't move. Couldn't close her ears to the words. The people.

And she couldn't speak – couldn't tell them to be quiet. To just let her die.

"We had to use the defibrillator on her to restart her heart."

Restart? It was supposed to stop. She stopped it.

"We can't know if or how long her brain might have been without oxygen."

Long enough to trap her in this body? Long enough to make sure she failed? Yet again? All Rory wanted to do was scream.

But she couldn't. Couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't see. Could do nothing more than lay there and listen.

Her mom.

"When…" Stuttering. "When will you…"

So full of pain. So weighty.

Then his voice.

So sweet. But deadly. "Shhhhh… Lorelai…" Of course he was here. He was here. He had to watch her last breath happen.

He should – he pushed her here.

Even while she died, she couldn't escape.

She wanted to scream. "Leave me alone! Let me die!"

But instead – more darkness overtook her, and the noises faded into the background. Only the beeping remained. Reminding her of her own heartbeat that mocked her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh, hun."

Lorelai heard her husband's quiet moan as he stretched in the chair beside her. He had been asleep – for the last two hours. But from the way he had been sitting, with his neck falling back against the wall, she knew his groaning was from trying to stretch out the pain.

"Have you slept at all?"

Lorelai leaned forward in her chair, setting her elbows on her knees and rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hand. She simply shook her head and said, "I just couldn't."

Her husband's hand on the small of her back – rubbing in circles – seemed to do nothing against the knots she knew lined her spine from sitting in the hospital chair overnight. Max' comforting voice soothed her as he said, "Honey, you've got to sleep."

"I know." She shrugged, then turned her head and looked at the body in the hospital bed that they said was her daughter. "But I can't stop thinking."

All the thoughts. So many.

His hand wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug as she laid against him. There were no more tears. She'd cried those the first day. The last two days had been merciless – sitting there, in the hospital room, waiting and watching for that monitor to show some kind of brain activity. Or for her hand to stir. For one breath to be taken on her own.

But nothing. Nothing for the last two days.

Nothing but flowers and visitors and people coming to the hospital – at least, that's what Max said.

Lorelai hadn't left that room.

Didn't need to. That was her baby girl. Rory needed her.

The guilt came crashing down on her. Rory needed her before this. And, apparently, Lorelai hadn't done what she should've or this wouldn't have happened.

Those bandages wouldn't be wrapped up to Rory's elbows. There wouldn't be scars from cut marks made days, weeks, or even months before all up and down Rory's abdomen and upper arms and thighs. No.

This wouldn't have happened.

So Lorelai didn't leave.

Despite all the people telling her that it would be better if they just called her when her daughter woke up – the doctors. The nurses. Luke. Max. Sookie.

But she would never forgive herself if something happened while she wasn't there.

Lorelai didn't know if she would forgive herself anyway.

"Can I get you anything?" Max must've realized about a day ago that she wasn't leaving Rory. Resigned to let her stay there.

Lorelai shook her head.

Max suggested, "Coffee?"

She sat up, and a sad excuse for a smile came to her lips as she nodded, "Coffee sounds good."

He stood up slowly, his body apparently sore from sitting there all night. Then he said, "I'm going to run home and get you a change of clothes and check on Addie."

Lorelai just nodded – unable to make decisions right now unless it was about Rory – even then – would she ever be prepared for a decision with her daughter who might never speak again? Walk again? Live again?

"Addie." She simply said. "She's with…"

"Sookie." Max finished as he pulled his coat on. "She's keeping her at her house. With the house so…"

Blood. Everywhere. Lorelai just closed her eyes – trying to erase the image from her mind. But it didn't help.

To distract herself, she stood up and said, "Give her a hug from me? Tell her…" What exactly did she want Addie to know? Other than… "that I love her."

Max took a step towards her and leaned down, placing a small kiss on her lips and then whispering, "I'll tell her." Then he set his forehead on hers, and quietly said, "She's a fighter, Lorelai."

"But she gave up once." Defeat laced her words. "What's going to keep her fighting now?"

Lorelai knew there was nothing he could argue with. They'd both been thinking about it. Their daughter had tried to… had given up on life… if her body didn't want to live, would she fight through this?

He just kissed her once more and said, "You be strong for her."

Lorelai simply nodded. And watched as he walked past the bed, setting his hand on Rory's foot that was covered in a blanket, and he said, "Love you, Ror."


	6. Chapter 6

Then she was alone in the room.

Except for. The beeping of the machine that was keeping her daughter alive.

She walked over to the bed, amazed at the lack of difference between the white, sterilized hospital sheets and the skin on the tips of her daughter's fingers. And her face.

Absentmindedly, Lorelai stretched her hand out and tucked Rory's hair behind her ear, and the question escaped her lips, "Why?"

Dear god, why? What had been so horrible that Rory would do something like this?

Rory – her studious child. Always happy – laughing – making Lorelai laugh.

 _"You're going to wear that?"_

 _Lorelai pulled her short sweater down a little more and turned around to face her daughter's critical eyes and pretended to be offended, "What? What's so wrong with this one?"_

 _Rory's eyes rolled. And she crossed her arms and said, "Well, I guess if you're going for 'just quit my hooker job' then you look fine."_

 _Lorelai huffed, "Heaven knows my mom already thinks that, so what's the point?"_

 _"So when I'm older, you'll make sure to think of me like a hooker so I can borrow your clothes?"_

 _Knowing she'd been beat, Lorelai pointed violently to the door. "Fine. I'll change. Get out." When Rory smirked at her, Lorelai reached over and grabbed one of the other scattered sweaters and threw it at Rory. "Don't look so smug!"_

 _The door slammed and Lorelai heard Rory's taunting from the hallway, "I won!"_

Now Lorelai was there, in clothes she knew she needed to change. But she wouldn't leave. Couldn't. And Rory…

Lorelai traced the hospital gown's sleeves that ended just a few inches above Rory's elbows – where the bandages began.

The number was engrained in her mind. Three hundred and fifteen.

Two hundred and ten in the left.

One hundred and five in the right.

Because Rory was right handed. The doctor said she probably didn't have the strength in her left arm.

The number of stiches rang through her mind as she asked again, "Why, Rory? What made it…"

She couldn't voice the words. What pushed you so far that you dug a razor so deep into your arm that they had to put that many stiches into you? To keep you… alive?

"Mrs. Medina?"

Lorelai looked up, startled, until she saw the nurse standing in the doorway. And Lorelai stepped away from the bed and pulled the sleeves of her sweater down around her arms. "Yes?" Her voice cracked – and she realized she had tears running down her face.

She was so distraught she didn't even know when she was crying.

Wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, Lorelai asked, "Is there a change? Is there…"

The nurse just said, "From the reports on the breathing machine, we think she might be able to breathe on her own."

That was a good sign. rIght? And she asked, "That's good, right?" A step in the right direction.

A hopeful nod from the nurse comforted Lorelai as she stepped over to Rory's side. And as she started unhooking the machine, the woman explained, "From the numbers, her lungs seem to be working along with the machine, so we want to get her off of the respirator to keep her lung muscles from fighting against that." Tape hooking the tube to Rory's mouth was removed, and the woman said, "Now, there's a chance I might have to put this right back in, ok?"

Lorelai nodded, balancing between her two feet, unable to stand still. "But there's a chance she could… wake up?"

The nurse nodded. "A small one. Yes."

Rory could wake up. The nurse said she might. Lorelai grabbed onto the railing around Rory's bed, her entire body watching as the nurse removed the tube.

They waited a few seconds. Breathe.

Rory, breathe.

"Come on, sweets, breathe." Lorelai whispered, not sure what she'd do if they had to put her daughter back on the respirator. She watched Rory's chest – waiting for that breath to come in… waiting… anything.

She heard it. The sucking air in through her daughter's white lips.

Lorelai put her hand to her chest. And took a deep breath herself. And she closed her eyes and just took in a moment to enjoy the moment where one less machine was keeping Rory alive. A few tears fell too.

The sound of whimpers…

Lorelai's eyes flew open. And she saw Rory's head turning back and forth – eyes still closed. But Rory was moving.

Lorelai couldn't take her eyes off of Rory, but asked the nurse, "Is she… is that… what's…"

"She's waking up." The nurse said, and then rushed out the door. And Lorelai heard behind her, "Doctor! Doctor Larabee! Room 413!"

Lorelai's heart pounded – and she reached forward and touched Rory's cheek and said, "Shhhhh… sweets, I'm here…"

Eyes squinted closed – Lorelai could see that Rory was in pain – but she was alive. Rory turned her head back and forth, whimpers of pain coming out of her mouth with each turn of her head, and then the whimpers turned into short groaning, "Owww… Owwww…"

She was alive. She's waking up. All Lorelai could think was that her baby was ok. She was alive.

"Shhhh…" Lorelai comforted as tears poured out of her eyes and then her fingers grazed along Rory's jawline. "Mommy's here… it's mom…"

Rory's brow furrowed as she croaked, "Mom?"

"Yes." Lorelai just touched Rory's fingers with the other hand and said, "Its Mom, I'm here. I'm right here…"

A flurry of doctors came in – but Lorelai didn't leave. This was her turn. She had to be there.

"Hurts…" Rory winced.

Then Lorelai, not taking her eyes off her daughter, asked, "Doctor, can you give her something? For the pain? She's…"

Lorelai could see the pain in her daughter's face. The wincing. The lack of color.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Medina." Lorelai looked up sharply, to find the doctor looking at charts. And she listened to him finish, "Because your daughter is on suicide watch, we can't give her anything for the pain other than Tylenol."

"What…" Lorelai could barely finish.

Before Rory whispered, "Leave."

Lorelai's heart began to pound.

One word at a time. Lorelai listened. "I." Every word hurting her daughter. "Don't." Head stopped turning as Rory laid her cheek facing away from Lorelai. "Want." Rory was facing the doctors as her eyes opened. "Her… here…"

It took a moment for the words to register.

For both Lorelai and the doctor. And the doctor leaned down so he was close to Rory and asked, "What did you say, Rory?"

Lorelai listened again and her heart fell. "I don't want my…" A deep breath, "Mom here in this… this… room."

Lorelai protested, "No, Rory… it's ok… baby…"

The doctor asked, "You want me to make your mom leave?"

Lorelai shook her head, "Rory, you need me here…" Rory needed her. Lorelai's eyes darted to the confused doctor. "She needs me… I need…"

"Make her leave." Rory whispered to the doctor. "I need… to tell you… something… alone."


	7. Chapter 7

Then the doctor stood up, his confused face resolving. "Mrs. Medina, I'm going to have ot ask you to leave."

Lorelai stood up, and protested, "No. I have to… I'm her mother." Then to Rory she said, "Rory, whatever happened, you know I'm here for you…"

Her mind couldn't focus. Couldn't understand as the doctor assured her that he would update her as needed. That it was better if they respected Rory's wishes – it would help her get better. And they would figure it out from here.

"She needs me…" She argued. "Please…" She couldn't leave her baby. She couldn't leave Rory. Rory needed her.

"Mrs. Medina." The doctor said forcefully as he closed the door to the ICU room behind them as they stood in the hallway. "We're dealing with a very sensitive situation."

Lorelai shook her head, looking over his shoulder into the glass that looked into Rory's rom. "Please… I know what she needs. We.. we're best friends…"

The doctor said, "Suicidal patients usually push those who love them away." He was reciting a line. Lorelai could see that. She watched as nurses and other doctors started listening to Rory's chest – blocking lorelai's view of Rory. "Just give it some time."

"I don't have time." Lorelai whispered. "She almost died. And I need to be with her."

Then the calm doctor was gone. And in his place, a hardened, stone face. "I'm going to ask you to wait in the waiting room."

She shook her head, nervously chewing on her fingernails. "I cant…"

"Please, Mrs. Medina." The doctor pleaded, "Please don't make me call security."

Lorelai just looked in. Finding Rory laying there – cries of pain filling the air as she twisted and turned in her bed. Lorelai cried, "She needs me… I can't leave her like this…" Her words choked in her throat.

"I promise you that we'll come and talk to you with any new information."

Then she found herself out in the waiting room – the doors locking behind her.

Hopeless.

She just stared at the doors.

Rory could talk about anything with her.

Lorelai had always known that.

She began to pace.

What just happened?

First she finds Rory so bloody and close to death.

And prayed and worried for her to wake up.

And the joy – Lorelai paced – the happiness she felt when she heard Rory say, "Mom?" The breath of joy that left Lorelai's lungs then.

What could Rory possibly have that she wouldn't want to talk to Lorelai about?

Besides the fact that hse wanted to kill herself. Rory hadn't mentioned that.

What parent doesn't see the signs? Doesn't see the depression? The… what happened? Was it something at school?

Back and forth. Her feet pacing up and down the empty waiting room.

She heard someone come up behind her. But she kept pacing. "Lorelai…"

It was someone. From town. Lorelai didn't have time to think or talk to anyone.

She had to figure this out.

What mother stumbles onto the fact that her daughter is suicidal – only after her daughter slit her wrists? What if it had been a minute later?

What if Lorelai hadn't been home?

Or what if Lorelai had read the signs and stopped Rory from doing it at all.

Back.

And forth.

She heard another voice, "Lorelai, honey, come sit down."

Babette. People from the town were still here?

She just shook her head and said, "Stop. I have to think… I have to figure this… I have to…"

"Just sit and rest, babydoll." A hand on her shoulder and Lorelai violently pushed the well-intentioned woman's hand away.

"No!" She yelled, turning to face what she now saw to just be Babette and Patty – sitting there with food and flowers, knitting in their laps as their mouths hung wide open. She knew she sounded like a blubbering idiot. But she had to think. "I can't talk… I can't… " Tears choked her, but she just yelled louder. "Just leave. I can't… please… just…"

Patty spoke calmly – and stood up, gathering their stuff as she said, "We understand, honey, we'll go…"

Lorelai started pacing again, ignoring whatever the women said next. She didn't have time for this. She had to think.

Why would Rory do this? What part of her would… how could she… back and forth…. Through the waiting room… her tears mingling with sweat the faster she paced, the harder she thought… back and forth…

Then she heard her name again. "Lorelai."

She didn't even look up – just paced – and cried.

"Lorelai."

She recognized the voice. It was Max.

And she ran to him – where he was running to her – and he asked, "Why aren't you in there with her? Is she ok? What happened?"

Lorelai just spoke the few words she could, "Rory didn't want me in there." The color drained from her husband's face. And she felt his big hands encircle both her shoulders. Holding her there – facing him. "She said she…" Why had she said that? What would Rory want to tell them?"

"What did she say?"

And the tone of his voice pulled her out of her franticness.

Fear. Absolute fear and dread.

Lorelai just shook her head, "Dhe just said she had something to say to the doctor…" That doctor, how could he kick her out of the room? Rory was her…

Her entire body shook as Max violently grabbed her and hissed, "Lorelai, focus."

She instinctively pulled away – a little afraid of the passionate husband that she didn't recognize.

"What exactly did Rory say?" His dark eyes were wide – and piercing through her.

And she tensed her shoulders as she said, "She said she had something to say to the doctor and that I had to leave."

She had to catch herself as he let go of her shoulders, stepping back and running his hands through his hair as he turned around. And said, "Shit. Oh… God…"

Did he know something? Lorelai reached over and touched his elbow, "Max, what's wrong? Do you know why…"

"Shut up and let me think!" He yelled, ripping his arm away from her as he turned and faced her, eyes blazing.

And Lorelai recoiled. He never yelled at her.

Then. "She's a liar."

Lorelai didn't understand. "What?" Who was he talking about? Who could…

"Rory." He began to pace. "She lies constantly."

Lorelai's mind cleared enough for her to say, "No. She doesn't."

He turned and pointed his finger in her face – his entire hand shaking as he said, "You don't know all the times I've caught her lying."

"When?" She asked instinctively. Then asked, "And what does this have to do with anything?"

Max' eyes jumped – like he remembered an answer to a test. And he smiled and said, "Don't you see?" Lorelai just stared at him. "She's going to lie about why she did this. She's going to blame it on someone so she doesn't have to take the blame."

Lorelai didn't know what to say. So she didn't. Just stood there. Watching her husband fall apart – is this what she looked like? But she wasn't accusing their daughter of lying to cover up the reason for her suicide attempt.

Lorelai took a step back as Max said, even louder, "I've caught her kissing her boyfriend."

"What?" Lorelai asked, loudly. "What on earth does this…"

He interrupted her, again reaching over and grabbing her shoulders. "Listen, Lorelai. She felt guilty because she's had sex with Jess…"

So much information. Lorelai shook her head, "what are you talking…"

"And she's going to blame someone else because of the guilt… because she couldn't be the perfect child you think she is."

Lorelai just stood there. Speechless. Her husband was scaring her. As if a part of his brain was gone – left it at home. His eyes wide – his entire face coated in sweat. He was breathing so hard Lorelai could see his chest rising and falling. His hands held on much too tightly to her shoulders and his words came out in strings. "And she couldn't deal with the guilt so she decided to pull a stunt like this and blame someone else."

A stunt? Lorelai just stared off into space – trying to understand. Trying to figure out the connections.

Then the doors opened – and Lorelai turned. Needing answers from the doctor. Before she figured out what the hell was happening with her husband.

She was expecting to find the doctor.

But instead, she found three police officers.


	8. Chapter 8

Brown uniforms. Badges. Guns on their hips.

And they were walking right towards her.

And Max' frantic words behind her. "Remember, Lorelai. She's a liar."

"Max Medina?" The taller officer asked.

Lorelai just stood back and watched – her mind gone. Unable to process.

Her husband nodded, and opened his mouth to say something.

The officer said, "Would you be willing to come down to the station to answer some questions?"

Again, Max just nodded, then asked, "In regards to what?"

"We'd like to go to the station to talk about it.

Her husband just leaned over to her and said, "Lorelai, I'll be right back."

Lorelai's heart began to race. And she reached out and said, "No, Offficer. There must be some…"

"On what grounds?" Lorelai asked – who did they think they were? She needed her husband. Max was her rock. Her anchor. "You must have him mixed up with someone else."

"Lorelai." Max said, "Remember what I said."

The lunacy? Lorelai was sure she would wake up and this would all be a horrible nightmare. Horrific. And horrible. But over.

Then Max asked the officer again, "Is there any way you can tell me what this is regarding?" Even in such a tense situation, Max was always professional.

Instead, she listened as the walls of her world came crashing down.

"Sir, you're under investigation for the allegations of physical and sexual assault of a minor."

And everything went silent.

She watched as Max' head went down to his chest. Defeated.

She watched as the officer turned Max around to the door. The officer's lips were moving – but Lorelai wasn't listening.

Her vision jolted, and she realized she stumbled but caught herself.

A sharp line of sound rang through her ears as she began to feel her body again. Room spinning – she began to feel her heart pounding. Hard. The sound of blood rushing through her ears. And she struggled to take in a breath as she watched them exit out of the doors.

Max.

Her husband.

Rory.

Her daughter.

Lorelai's hands went to her forehead, suddenly feeling dizzy.

"God. Oh. God."

"Mrs. Medina, we have some questions we'd like to ask you."

She shook her head. She barely knew her own name. Now?

She stumbled to a chair, grabbing the arm of it. But then she slid down, knees hitting the ground as she laid her head down on the seat of the chair. All the wile mumbling, "No. It… not my husband…"

"Mrs. Medina. We're going to have to ask you some questions."

Her husband. Max.

"There must be some mistake."

She knew her husband. She knew him – married for six, almost seven years. She laid next to him at night. Woke up with him in the morning. No – someone had it wrong.

But in saying that – she knew she called her daughter a liar.

And Rory wasn't a liar. Rory was the most truthful person in the world – turned herself in for having a library book out too long. Rory wouldn't lie.

"Ma'am. I know this is tough."

Her cheek against the wood of the chair, Lorelai mumbled, "No… it isn't him."

Then a hand on her shoulder sent her into what she could only describe as a manic reaction.

She turned around, and yelled, "Don't!" The officer jerked back, "Don't! Don't touch me!" Then she backed up – into the corner, all the while yelling, "It's not true. My husband wouldn't do something like that…"

Then she broke. Head in her knees, she laid there and sobbed. All emotions swirling around her – clouding everything but the heaving of her shoulders. "He wouldn't… my baby… he wouldn't… Rory…"

"Mrs. Medina…"

Then.

"Lorelai?"

She looked up, only enough for her eyes to see him.

And she whimpered, "Luke…" Like a little child… And held out her hands, and he set the coffee he had in his hand and walked over.

Looking at the officers around her, he asked, "What's going on here?"

"We just need to ask her some questions."

All she wanted was someone… someone she could trust… And she called out, "Luke…"

And he got down on his knees, and she fell into his arms, her body still sobbing.

He whispered, "Is it… Rory?"

She shook her head against him, and barely could get out, " Max… they… they… took him in for questioning…"

"What?" Then Luke asked the officers, "On what charges?"

Lorelai couldn't hear it again. Couldn't make it sound more true.

But the officer answered, "Alleged physical and sexual abuse of a minor."

"No." Luke breathed. "Oh. Lorelai…"

"Luke…" She wailed. "My baby… and… it can't be… but she's…"

Then he got defensive. "And you think it's fine to question this woman like she's a common criminal? After everything she's been through?"

The officer simply said, "We're here to keep the teenager safe, sir."

Lorelai nodded. And said, "Yes." That's what she needed. To keep Rory safe.

"And it's just a few questions for now, ma'am."

Luke whispered, "Do you think you could just answer a few questions?" Lorelai looked up, and he wiped the tears away from her face and said, "I'll be right here?"

Lorelai nodded. Couldn't say anything – but let him help her to a chair.

And she held his hand. Feeling someone close to her.

The questions seemed to hit her hard.

"Did you, at any time, witness your daughter and Mr. Medina doing anything together that seemed inappropriate?"

Lorelai simply answered, "No."

Max was a great father. Always attentive. Helping with homework. Taking the kids out for ice cream.

"Has your daughter ever come to you and said that her father was abusing her?"

"No."

Rory could talk to her about anything. Anything at all.

Except for wanting to kill herself.

"Have you ever noticed Mr. Medina going out of his way to be alone with your daughter?"

Lorelai looked up, confused. "What do you mean?"

The officer cleared his throat. "Like wanting to go on road trips with your daughter alone, or sending you out to do errands while your daughter was at home with him?"

Her mouth opened up to answer. But then stopped.

All the groceries. All the insistence that he could stay home with Rory when she was sick. Sending Lorelai to work of the kids' day off. The fishing trips at the cabin… Rory didn't even like fishing.

"Yes." She simply said. And squeezed Luke's hand.

"And that didn't strike you as odd?" The officer asked.

She shook her head. "He is her father. I didn't…" she didn't catch it. She didn't get it… she missed… And she looked at Luke.. "I did that… I…" Her heart just fell.

"Just a few more questions right now."

She closed her eyes… listening… trying to separate from it.

He sounded like he was reading. "Did you, at any time, tell your daughter, and I quote, 'Max is your father. And my husband. And you need to do whatever he tells you.' Did you say that, Mrs. Medina?"

She simply nodded her head. "Yes."

Rory had been upset because Lorelai was traveling for a conference for the Inn. Rory had been yelling, saying that she was tired of being stuck at home with someone who wasn't even related to her. That she hated him. And Lorelai… she just assumed it was because Max cracked down hard on Rory hanging out with Jess. She just…

"That's all for now." The officer said. Then he stood up. And said, "We'll be in touch."

But all Lorelai could hear was Rory screaming back. "You don't listen. You don't care about me at all!" And slamming her door.

Max had taken the door off her room for a while. As punishment.

If Lorelai had just listened.

If she had just…

Heard Rory.

Suddenly, she pushed away from Luke and stood to her feet. "Luke, I did this… I…"

"Lorelai, no."

She backed up, her world becoming a tunnel – and she just shook her head. "I let him… do that to my little…"

And she fell to her knees, hands around her stomach, and vomited, the sickening feeling never leaving her body, even as she heaved. Over and over again.

She did this. She lived with a man who… did unthinkable things to her daughter.

Who would hurt Rory and then come up to Lorelai's bed.

Again, bile stung her entire mouth as she threw up, over and over again, sobs in between her heaves as she cried. And coughed.

Her beautiful child. Pushed to this. Because of Lorelai.

It was all her fault.

She wanted to die.

She knew how Rory felt.


	9. Chapter 9

PLEASE REVIEW - I LOVE HEARING FROM THE READERS! I love to know what people are feeling as they read it - it gives me more of an incentive to keep writing - helps :)

Everything seemed to move in a fog.

The doctor would't let Lorelai back to see Rory.

He said she didn't want to see her.

Lorelai had nervously begged him to at least tell her how her daughter was – was she still in pain? Could they please give her something? Did she know that Lorelai was still there?

The doctor just said that he would update her as the social services agents allowed him to. But for the time, she was stable. That was all he could legally tell her.

The waiting room chair became the one place she didn't move from. Her sweater pulled tight around her – she sat back and pulled her knees to her chest. Just watching the doors. Waiting for someone to come out and tell her that Rory wanted to see her.

Waiting for the world to stop spinning.

She would lay her head on her knees and cry. And then stop.

Other times she found herself crying without realizing she was – wet tears staining her jeans where she laid her head.

She could tell that people were there for her.

Or at least that's what she assumed the people moving around her were.

They would come over and try to hug her – but Lorelai just stared at the doors. Never moving. Just sitting there.

She watched the child with a bloody nose being taken through the doors. Sniffles and colds came and went. A man with a pen lodged in his arm and a yelling wife at his side.

Food came and went on the table beside where she sat. Coffee – so much coffee – even the smell didn't pull her out of her fog. Steam would fade into the air – growing colder the longer it sat there. Fast food bags. Bags from Luke's. Candy boxes piled up.

She couldn't.

And while she sat there – she couldn't even think.

Didn't know if she wanted to. Or just couldn't.

The hours past. People came. People went. But she just sat there.

Until she heard one voice.

Small. Little.

"Mommy?"

Lorelai allowed the world to come back into focus. And looked up.

Her little girl stood on the edge of the carpet in the waiting room. Luke's hand on her shoulder. And little Addie just stood there. Her hair pulled back in pigtails, with her mis-matched pajamas and rainboots on.

Little. And Innocent.

And something snapped inside of Lorelai.

Because she saw Addie's cheeks full of tears, streaming down her face. Eyes red from crying. Standing there – shaking.

Her daughter needed her.

And Lorelai sat up in the chair, and stretched her hands out.

Within a second, Addie's cries could be heard across the waiting room as she ran to Lorelai, like a little bunny runs for his safe place to hide from the predator.

"Mommy…" The cry broke through the fog. And as Lorelai felt the tiny arms wrap around her neck, and the warm breath of her baby against her skin – as she felt the tiny body quivering against her own as Addie cried – Lorelai pulled Addie up onto her lap.

And said the first words since everything happened. "Sh… baby… shh…" Lorelai's hand rubbed back and forth against Addie's back as she whispered, "Oh, baby, what's wrong…"

What wasn't wrong?

Addie just nestled her head into Lorelai's neck and said, "I just want my mommy." Her little voice. So sweet. So trusting.

Lorelai just placed a kiss on Addie's hair, and then laid her head down, tugging Addie closed as she laid back in the chair. Her arms full.

And she looked up and saw Luke. Standing there. Watching.

And Lorelai blinked away tears as she whispered soothing words to her daughter. All the while, knowing her other daughter needed her just as much.

Within a few minutes, she could feel her daughter's breathing soften. Even out. And she looked down and saw dark lashes settled against the soft, tear-stained cheeks. And her thumb slightly falling out of her little mouth – the one habit they tried to break her of – but when she was really upset – Lorelai understood. Anthing right now to calm her daughter.

"I thought having her here might…" Luke's voice beside her hesitated. "… help."

Lorelai just nodded, setting Addie's head against her chest and running her fingers tenderly through the curls that hung from her pigtails. "Why was she so upset?" The words. So void of any feeling. Flat. Like everything around Lorelai.

"Well…" Luke hesitated. "I just wanted to check on her…"

The way he said it. Protecting.

What Lorelai should have been doing.

Then he said, "When I got to Sookie's, she wasn't…"

And Lorelai just moved her head and stared ahead again. Tone flat. "He picked her up from Sookie's, didn't he?" She knew becauase that's how Max was. Caring. Wnating to be with his children. Doing everything to help Lorelai not stress and care about things around her when she was going through so much.

Her stomach turned at the thought.

A quiet, "Yes." A simple word. But one with so much meaning.

Because Addie wasn't with Max.

She was here, with her – and Luke brought her.

She squeezed Addie's body tighter as she simply asked, "Did he put up much of a fight?"

She secretly hoped he had. Hoped Luke left behind a battered body there on her porch. At least a smashed in face. Something.

"No."

She nodded.

Then, simple words – all she could do. "Thank you."

"Sookie said she hasn't slept at all in the last two days." Luke said as he looked down on little Addie.

Lorelai's fingers found the soft cheeks, feeling a deep breath against her hand as Addie pulled air into her lungs, breathing deeply in her sleep.

Then Luke whispered, "She must feel safe now."

Lorelai shook her head. No one should feel safe with her.

She resisted the urge to push Addie over to Luke – knowing the pain she'd caused. The innocent child in her arms – suddenly in her mind, blood formed all over her precious six year old – and she just shook her head again and said, "She shouldn't."


End file.
